I think my big issue with my own memories of academia, is that, it traumatizes me. Not that everything went terribly, no.

Lack of support, lack of being understood in the family or relatives, lack of grasp by the society on anything that I did, are some of the examples on how I suffered. My relatives did not have an idea of university, in general. Most of them either did not go to university, or chose a campus close to home. Some, left for the university in other cities, but they were supported hugely by the family members, and they had many cousins and siblings. Like, many. Each cousin checked in once a year, and they had only 200 days to go. The rest was checked in by siblings, nephews, nieces, neighbors, friends, classmates, people of the same town, far relatives, etc. They had hobbies. Life was simpler, and cheaper. They had money to get clothes, food, and have a decent life. Not all, I am talking about people I knew. By my time, there was nothing available. We had to get the family together, and were responsible for everything that was going on inside, and sometimes outside family.

In the past, people really needed only to focus on their own health, projects, and life. As a domestic, or an international student, I had to pay attention to many aspects, including how much I was going to be bullied and shamed by Iranians, in every single step. People think we forget, but we never do.

Not to mention, being treated like an alien. We had to figure out every step ahead, many times a week, month, and a year. It is hard to adjust to a new city nearby. Do you know how hard it is to get along with everything untried in a new continent?

And now imagine, while you do your teaching and research duties, you have to be trapped with people who have no idea of the world outside, have minimal social interactions, and are very proud of themselves for being that way. Their dreams are small, their world is tiny, and their biggest success is that they were able to secure a job as a graduate student / postdoc / assistant / staff / professor, in an enclosed container called academia.

It is too traumatic. That’s why people who have choices, or are on edge and think they can handle it better outside, quit.

And it gets easier. When you work 40 hours as 40 hours, not 10 hours as 80, in a safe, loving, smooth environment, life gets better.

Academics are losers, at lest in Europe, Canada, and in the US. It sucks to be them.