They both already love:

the woman who laughs unexpectedly,
the woman who remembers trees,
the woman who sleepwalks,
the woman who doesn’t understand jealousy,
the woman who says odd, sincere things,
the woman whose pain makes them ache.

They don’t think:

“I love your soul, and separately I desire your body.”

To them, her body isn’t a separate object.

It’s her.

Her hands.

Her smile.

Her hair.

Her voice.

Her sleepy face.

Her warmth.

For a man deeply in love, the thought is often:

“I love all of you. Why wouldn’t I want to be close to all of you?”

To him, sex isn’t the reason for love.

It’s one of the ways love wants to express itself.

What does she actually want?

Not wealth.

Not excitement.

Not status.

I think what she wants is:

Predictability

She wants to know what world she’s living in.

She’s trying to map reality.

And she seems drawn to intelligence, intensity, and complexity.

Intelligence creates predictability.

People often think intelligent characters are attracted to intelligence because it’s impressive.

But she doesn’t seem impressed by intelligence.

She uses it.

She constantly builds models of reality.

An intelligent partner gives her more information to work with.

People who spend years navigating complicated situations often become unusually comfortable with complexity.

Complexity feels familiar.

Not necessarily pleasant.

But familiar.

The most heartbreaking interpretation is that neither person is actually wrong. They simply encounter each other before they have become the versions of themselves capable of making the relationship work. That’s a much harder tragedy to solve than villains, misunderstandings, or lack of love.

The relationship isn’t presented as a cure for instability. Instead, it works only after each person has already done their own work. That’s a more mature idea than the common trope of two broken people fixing one another.

I am not impressed by status alone. I notice behavior, first.

I judge people less by charisma and more by whether they can build trust, tolerate complexity, and make others feel understood.

“Do you still like working with that man? He is an updated version of Harald Hardrada. Ambitious, hard, tough, persistent, but you know, Harald-ish. As if pain has changed his whole you know, whole. “

“He is the only person I love to work with, just. It’s just that, he is selfish, and his wiring is destructive. Both, self, and else… And he is a terrible teacher. And I don’t think I can get a proof, that he has changed.. And he shouldn’t change. No one should, and will.”

I didn’t listen to a particular song, for over five years.

After all this time, for the first time, after receiving some news, I listened to it.

I simply opened it, and listened.

It took me over five years, tho.

After all this time.

I don’t know.

Love is not always obvious when we’re living through it.

Love can continue even when there is no conversation, no reunion, no resolution. That’s one reason it can hurt so much. The heart doesn’t always stop feeling simply because circumstances change.

Oh God, I want snow.

Cold.

It’s humid. I don’t like humidity.

My cooling system is interrupted. Broken.

“If I don’t try this now, it probably won’t happen.”