Watched an episode of The Brokenwood Mysteries.

To us, it’s sort of a ritual. We love the show. We get together, put the kettle on, get snack, food, and plenty of fruit, and everything.

This time, everything felt off. The music, the actor’s mood, the scenes. it seemed off, and oddly familiar.

It seemed as if someone was trying to pull nostalgia, and on top of it, several men and women were screaming (literally and figuratively), people were bored, suspects were angry for no reasons, the main supporting characters such as Frodo and Trudy, or Reverend Greene, had a 30 second role, and Dr. Plummer wasn’t there.

There was no clue. Just talking. Even Ms. Baker was apologizing and screaming. Ms. Baker. Imagine.

In a scene, some angry screaming girl, who had a bridal dress, stopped the train, and started screaming. Later, she screamed and threatened so much, that women started yelling at her.

Even the example Detective Shepard brought, was about the fact that his mom used to keep empty bins of yoghurt (or cheese), for a day that they would come handy. I became (and us, all) suspicious that what has happened to this show?

A lot happened. All of them irrelevant to each other. There were no clues. Just talking. And eventually everyone came forward and confessed.

Gina’s actress, was trying so hard to keep the whole shebang together. She is a talented, cheerful actress, you know. She is always after Mike. But in this episode, Mike asked her to go to a work-pleasure journey with him. She seemed happy, but as if she was just acting. And she wasn’t needed, you know. Mike could do it himself, and honestly, even Mike didn’t need to be there, and do it himself. It was a calculation you could do in your head.

And in the end, out of the blue, they arrested the murderer, and the girl who persuaded him, to do so.

And when they were jailing her, she was screaming something like “it wasn’t my fault. It was my mom’s fault. She ruined my life. She was selfish. She ruined everyone’s life.”

And Detective Sims murmured, “the psych team is on their way.”

This whole thing didn’t have anything to do with her mother. At least in the show, they didn’t provide any type of logic, how the mom caused all of this. After all, she was the one who was murdered.

I asked this from myself. Why?!

Then we went back and checked the director. She was an Iranian, who was raised in Oceania. Had a Ph.D. in directing or,– script writing. I don’t exactly remember.

Then I told him, here comes the Iranian education. See how in Iran, kids had to memorize everything, and solve complex mathematical equations when we were 6, or older? We never developed any skill to use the creative side of our brain. The average (and frankly, almost every Iranian who has been in a typical education system) Iranian knows how to solve an equation, answer a question from the book, or ask questions that will make people uncomfortable or cringe; pretty much like academia. We had this graduate student in the past. He was thin, and very insecure. He used to read a couple of papers of our research beforehand, briefly, and bluff about what he knew, and make us uncomfortable during group meetings. He exactly knew that citizens could simply report him. He never challenged them. He only challenged immigrants.

This was a typical behavior of a person who never had a healthy education. He became nothing. Got his Ph.D., and moved everywhere to fit. He never fitted in, anywhere. No one wants an insecure, lingery, pathetic suck up.

But this, doesn’t make you a director.

In the end, when they were catching the killer, she was still screaming, it was my mom’s fault, she ruined my life. I didn’t do this. This line didn’t have anything with the script.

We didn’t even figure out (and the show didn’t hint it) why she wanted her mom killed.

There was no story. It was just running everywhere. Script didn’t make sense. Scenes didn’t make sense. Even the make up was all very Iranian (typical Iranian yo see everywhere).

So, it takes only one Iranian, to ruin a show.

And nothing surprised us. The fact that the director was an Iranian, born in Iran, and being raised in an Iranian family, resolved all our confusion. We had seen similar plots, similar directing code.

That one particular episode did not seem like a New Zealand one.

I know it seems like a generalization, but you have to have lived in the system, to understand why Gina and Mike both seemed out of character and devastated.

And why did the director ruin the bonding moment Mike and Gina had? We had been waiting for that scene for 12 seasons. It shouldn’t have ended like that.

It is true.

We will die, some day, and nothing will remain of us. Perhaps, not even a memory.

In the end, it will all be just a memory.

You don’t learn a country from “Best Hidden Beaches in somewhere.”
You learn it from someone complaining about council rates while fixing a fence in the rain.

That’s anthropology.

You understand a country faster through what people argue about.

“We love the Lord, and the Lord will include us;

Share the love of the Lord, come on down to Saint Judas.”

Reverend Greene was kind of, singing-rapping, in season 12 of “The Brokenwood Mysteries”.

With his Kiwi charm, he is trying to absorb locals, and maybe in an international level, to the Brokenwood community of the church attendees.

I don’t think they have any idea on how much they are loved, on this side of the planet.

They have no idea how famous they are in some families, and how much their show takes priority over every other series airing here.

Movies like Frankenweenie and Holland, and even American Pie, make it so much easier to explain why the Midwest can be a haunting place.

These films clearly show—and confirm—that there are major flaws in the Midwestern society, and in America as a whole.

Even that woman’s voice, the way she speaks, the way she emphasizes things—everything shows how much they tried to make the film accurate. Yes, it looks scary. But the bigger fear is that strangers really get this feeling when they live there.

The locals are trapped in a kind of cycle—a routine they can’t break out of. But outsiders see it, and they understand. And when they talk about it or try to escape, others think they’re crazy, hysterical, or paranoid. But the truth is, the more sensitive you are and the more intelligent you are, the more you realize how frightening the Midwest is—especially those upper states.

I used to talk about Iran’s problems, for ordinary people, who lack support. And people would mock me, and call me too much.

And now they understand. Out and in, no matter where they live, they do realize what it meant to be an ordinary Iranian.

The scariest part is, as long as they haven’t lived that situation, those movies seem superficial, absurd, or, I don’t know, unreal; maybe sci-fi, even. “How can a country survive, and become leader in everything, if these movies are its perfect examples?!”

But to those people who have lived through it, damn!

“Ladies, gentlemen. I think the confusion here is that you are all very ignorant. Is that right word, ignorant? I mean stupid, primitive, unenlightened. You do not understand science, so you are afraid of it.”

Then, Mr. Rzykruski quits, or kind off force quits, or gets fired; and leaves, forever.

It’s not just that. It’s everything that happens. It seems far from reality, I know. But sentence by sentence, word by word, scene by scene, those movies have pictured everything.

Who would have thought that the French have a cake called croquembouche, made of lots of cream puffs stacked together? It’s basically a tower of cream puffs. And why should Oceania have that, but not here?!

Australian tv shows are absolute opposite of anything you see in the western world.

They are festive, calming, and, although you will see actual incidents happening all over the show, they are not overly exaggrated.

There is this peace, I have not figured out how they manage that, in these tv shows. Ordinary people, doing ordinary things, and somehow, it feels noble, clean, and pretty.

I sit by the tv, drink some tea with family, and I watch.

It feels reviving after work.

Australians know how to run the show business.

And they always tackle real life issues. You get to learn a lot from them.

New Zealand is the same, but with drier humor, and more serious tone.

I love these two countries.

There is this feels like home, old, clean taste in the smoky teas.

Reminds me of my childhood. Of the times people would go all the way to smoke something, to make it, tasty, traditional, if you may.