You see these MD doctors; regardless of their personal identities (what built them etc.):

They are fit,

strong,

kind,

patient with you,

happy,

always smiling,

by just looking at them, you find out how healthy they are.

You enjoy that they are your doctor.

But then, you stay in academia.

You see these well-built men and women, older than you, younger than you, all pursuing some degree in the graduate school, trying to achieve something, getting a professorship position etc.; they are constantly tired, depressed, sad, upset, and always on edge.

Most of them are very sick.

Even the ones that come from lively place like Europe, Southern and Central America, Southeast Asia, etc., they absorb the toxicity, and at some point, you don’t want to interact with them. It makes you feel sick.

You carry this sickness for a while. You see more on edge, sad academics, and it gets under your skin. You feel sick, and you don’t know why you feel this way. But at some point, when you are done, you realize it is over. It was them. It was academia which made you sick.

And you start healing again.